Are your young children dependent on you for EVERYTHING?
Wouldn’t it be nice if they were independent?
Independence is such an important skill that will aid your child in being successful in school and life. I have a few tips to help you raise independent children!
Being a young child definitely has its perks; you don’t have to lift a finger, you have someone dressing you, feeding you, tending to your every need…sounds amazing, right?! If you had that kind of treatment, you definitely wouldn’t want to learn to do things for yourself. As a parent or a teacher, this is NOT what you want to keep doing day in and day out; it will get tiring and very time consuming. This is why it is so important to teach children young how to care for themselves and be independent. Learning to be independent is such an important skill for young children to learn. I am by no means telling you to have your 4 year old make dinner, but I am suggesting that you introduce them to a few ideas to get them doing tasks independently.
This post may contain affiliate links. I may earn compensation when you click on the links; at no additional cost to you. Please see the disclosure policy for more information.
Children are capable
Many people think, they are too little or not capable of doing some tasks independently…that’s FALSE!!!! Trust me, you would be amazed at what children as young as 18 months can accomplish is given the opportunity to exercise their independence. They can serve themselves food, pour themselves something to drink, and even put on their own shoes!! It is just a matter of providing them the chance to be independent.
I know…I know…but they are your babies; you don’t want them to grow up and do things by themselves and on their own! It is definitely a bittersweet moment when you as a parent ; and even as a teacher; you are not needed as much as you used to. For a Montessori teacher, that is the goal; to introduce activities and provide opportunities for the children to be independent of you. That is one of the main principles of the Montessori Method. It is a joy to see the children using their newly found independence to help themselves, help others, and solve problem independently!
As a mom and a Montessori Teacher & Educator, I understand the importance of teaching children how to be independent. When a child is independent, it makes for easier times for all involved! When they are little, the list of “To Do’s” can be never ending…getting them dressed, putting on their jackets, getting them something to drink, getting them something to eat; I could keep going for hours! If you constantly do every little task for your child, you literally wouldn’t have time in your day to do anything else. These 5 tips will give you a few ideas on how to instill and promote independence in a preschool aged child, and hopefully shorten your list just a little! The tips below could be used for any classroom or home school setting.
5 tips to raise an independent child
1. Provide as many opportunities as possible for them to dress themselves.
Young children are very capable of getting themselves dressed. It just takes a little time and patience on your end. You definitely want to introduce this on a day when you don’t have to get out of the house at a specific time. Children in a classroom practice putting on and taking off their shoes on a daily basis. Starting with something small like letting them put on their shoes or socks can boost their confidence and make it easier when you introduce them to other aspects of dressing themselves.
2. Provide opportunities for them to be able to serve/and or get their own food/drinks.
This is an important one, especially in the classroom. Having a classroom of preschoolers, serving snack can be time consuming and tedious. If possible, have a space available where they can pour their own drinks. Also provide a way that they can serve themselves food; snack and lunch. Have a child sized pitcher; either glass or plastic, a tray, and child sized cups available. Show them how to properly hold the pitcher with two hands, and watch the magic happen! This is a great activity to do at home as well!
3. Prepare an environment that is “child centered”.
An environment that is child centered has child sized chairs, tables, shelves, etc. Providing an environment that is child centered gives the child a sense of independence; in that they can comfortably maneuver in the environment unassisted. They can reach items, sit without assistance, and feel that it is a space designed for them. This helps in fostering a sense of autonomy. For help finding amazing, child centered items for your home or classroom, check out my post 5 must have Ikea products for your Montessori environment.
4. Provide opportunities for children to help with cleaning up.
Letting a child help with cleaning can sometimes lead to more of a mess! With the tools, and a few simple ideas, children will enthusiastically want to help clean up. Provide small wash clothes; for wiping tables, find inexpensive, sweeping sets to allow sweeping up small messes. You could even invest in child sized brooms, mops, and dustpans. There are cleaning sets that are child sized and perfect for little hands. Allowing children the opportunity to assist in cleaning their environment instills a sens of pride and responsibility. Trust me, I’ve had an entire classroom of twenty four preschool aged children begging me to wipe the tables everyday!
5. Provide choices within limits.
Children are very capable beings. Giving them a choice between two options gives them a feeling that their opinions matter. By making choices, it gives them the sense that they are important and so are their choices. By having the option to choose, they build independence skills that in turns builds confidence. An example of a choice within limits could be that you let them choose between eating their sandwich or fruit first, but expressing that eating the potato chips first is not an option. Or ask them to choose between two pairs of shoes that they can wear for the day. Starting off with small easy, options is the key!
What to take from this
These are just a few ways that you can nurture and stimulate independence for young children on a daily basis. Each of these tips can easily be modified to better accommodate a home school or parent co-op environment. Remember to have fun with whatever exercises you choose to introduce, and keep in mind children are very capable human beings! By teaching them to be independent early on in life, you are setting them up with skills they will use their entire lives!
Anitra J.
Great tips! We use many of these with our pre-K daughter and used them with the bigger kids too!
Thanks Lori! Independence at any age is a trait that should be taught, it sets them up for future success!
I need to work on the chores one, that’s something my kids are still kind of slack about (my fault, I guess.) My kids are homeschooled and they’re super independent about some things but not so much others. Right now I’m working on teaching them to ask other adults for things they need, versus making me ask for them.
Jelony | Blogging to help mums – Good points and reminders Anitra. It’s so easy to fall in the trap of doing everything for our children because we just want things done promptly. If we can slow down and teach our children to be independent it will make things easier for us in the long run
These are some really good tips! My little actually loves to clean. She always takes her baby wipes and wipes the table down. And she is always trying to take the broom from me.
Great post. I have mine make his bed every morning and we’ve done it for so long now he does it without being asked.
These are great tips. Promoting independence is SO important, and you’re right — we need to actively look for opportunities to do this because the reality is that it’s often much easier and faster to do many of things ourselves.
Love these tips and this mindset as a parent! Thanks for sharing 😊
These are great tips! I love the sense of pride my kids get when they are able to do ‘it’ on their own.
As a fellow Montessori educator, it is so important for parents to encourage independence in their children. Children will always figure ways that they can do things themselves without asking a parent, if we allow them to. Fostering independence early will only give children the confidence to feel comfortable doing things for themselves. Great post!
Great advice I really love this topic.
I agree! You mentioned some great things. I was big on making my first independent (he has special needs) I’m so glad i did as he can care for himself properly.
These are great tips and so fun for the kids! I think my daughter would LOVE pouring her own drink out of a pitcher (I might be getting ahead of myself here; she’s not quite two yet and we’re still working on her feeding herself). But you’re totally right about the cleaning–kids sure love doing that! I wonder what age cleaning loses its magical allure… 😉
I love my child being independent but sometimes it is a pain too. Especially, when I see her doing something the wrong way that I really need her to do a different way. I suppose that is a part of the learning process though. This tips are helpful and will help me in my attempt to encourage and nurture her independence.
These are all great tips. I’ve been working on some of these with my 5-year old and my now 2-year old. My 5-year old is hesitant when it comes to cleaning up after himself, but does everything else. I do think setting up a child-friendly space is important. I’ve tried as much as possible to do that in the kid’s room where most of their furniture is at their height or accessible.
[…] It’s so important to promote independence in your children, my friend Anita wrote a great article on how to raise an independent child. You can check it out here. […]
Thanks so much for including my article!
Excellent post! I worked with young children in a preschool for many years as a speech language pathologist. This is great information for parents of young children!!
Yes yes yes yes all of the choices! I love this post so much!
Great tips! It’s important to allow children some appropriate independence
Great suggestions. All my grandchildren are appropriately task and chore driven, very independent thanks to their moms. Its a good thing and will serve them and the whole family well. Thanks for sharing.
Great tips, Anitra! It feels so good to see them be able to do things for themselves!
I wish I would have focused on #4 more whenever my children were younger. I didn’t give them enough opportunities to help clean up then, so I am having to teach and guide even more now.
Great advice!!
I love letting my son dress himself and see what he comes up with!
Love these tips. It such a great thing to start early with this, and see them grow up as independent little people
Yes, they’ll never learn to do it themselves if you never let them! So important to encourage them to try on their own.
We practice independent play constantly in our house! But I always love to play with my daughter when I can.
This is great! My daughter is an only child and I have struggled with helping her be independent. It’s something we are definitely working on!
Great tips. I started helping my daughter be independent since she was 5, and now she’s turning 14 next month. She can cook for the family, clean the house supervise her young brothers at the playground, and even look after them when I am at work. She’s very independent, and I am glad I helped her.
I absolutely love this! We’ve been working on this since my kiddo was about a year and he’s almost two now. He’s great with independent play, which is amazing at such a young age!
As a former preschool teacher and a mom usually outnumbered, I agree with all of this. If we raise the bar a little for our kids, they will meet it every time!
Wonderful tips. I’m glad I tried my best to raise independent kids….they become independent adults. Having just sent my firstborn off to college, I’m confident he’s doing well and I don’t worry about him.
I really like these tips! I started early with my son. Now he’s 9, and he’s doing pretty well. It’s so important to let them start early.
I love all of these tips. I encourage my daughter to be as independent as she can!
Excellent tips! I remember when my oldest was three and I visited a friend’s home and saw her two-year-old completely dress himself- it was a lightbulb moment for me because I hadn’t even thought about expecting my child to do that. I love the idea of creating a child-centered environment too. It makes kids feel cared for and welcome.
You shared some really great tips here. I see some ideas that I can still use on my kids who are older to help them be more responsibly independent.
Love this! I try to implement as much independent work for my toddler as possible and always encourage her to keep trying when she gets frustrated.
You have great tips here! This is really helpful especially for new moms like my sister! Sharing this to her!
Its good to start them young! You have great tips and this will really be helpful for my sister with a toddler. Thanks!
These are wonderful tips. Always great to start when they’re young. Thank you for sharing.