Are you SuperMom or a Super Mom?
Which one are you?
You can be super without going super crazy!
Super
can be defined as
1. very good or pleasant; excellent
2. of the highest degree
Let’s talk about a problem that we as Mom’s have. We try to our best to be hardest that one SUPERMOM, no matter what it takes. You’re helping with homework, helping with projects, book reports, and research. You need to make sure your family gets dinner, baths/showers, make lunches and do and put away laundry (if you’re lucky!).
Don’t forget about the never-ending practices, school events, & games to attend…and oh yea hopefully finding time to squeeze in time with your family and friends or your poor husband!
Remember him?! Haha! But seriously, I know all to well the stress and pressure of being SuperMom. Being everywhere at every time, being everything to everybody…being SuperMom can make you go super crazy; quickly!!
It doesn’t have to be that way. Coming from me; someone who tried so hard for so long to be “that” mom, it is impossible and will wear you out. Trying to do everything and please everyone all the time will make you a grumpy, unhappy, tired snappy mama that no one wants to be around. Not even the dog!
The beginning of the end…
I have two daughters, am a wife, and up until recently, have always worked a full time job outside of our home. Both of my girls always did some sort of extra curricular activity; dance, gymnastics, cheer, soccer, track, softball, ASB, golf…they were always busy.
When they were really young, their extra curricular activities were at the preschool they attended so I didn’t have to take them anywhere for practices or lessons. There was an occasional recital or performance that was not at the school, but that was a twice a year occurrence.
Once they got older and in elementary school, that’s when they had practices that required me to take them to them began. Each year, it got to be more and more driving around town; and to the adjoining towns as well. I was still working full time, making dinner every night, going to games, helping with homework and those dreaded projects that we all love as parents!
SuperMom becomes a Super Mom
I was burnt out, tired, and grumpy. Once my oldest daughter started high school and the youngest was in middle school, it got a little hard to be at every game, practice, performance, school function AND make dinner and still be able to help with homework and such.
I decided that I would stop trying to be SuperMom, and made a decision to just be a Super Mom. I figured that they wouldn’t starve if I didn’t make them a home cooked meal every night.
I actually found that they were capable of making their own food; even my husband…amazing, right!? The best thing I found from this is that they didn’t love me any less for not being a SuperMom.
They weren’t mad, or disappointed, or let down that I am not “that” mom. They were actually glad to see that I am human, that I am not perfect, and that I can only do what I can do. All that you can do is do your best!
Tips for being SUPER
I know that many people are in the beginning stages of their journey of being a mom and a wife, and working away from the home. These tips are from my experiences over the many, many years; and by experiences, I mean my trial and errors!
-They are capable of making their own meals or snacks and doing their own chores.
Like I said earlier, they will not starve if you do not make a home cooked meal everyday. Even if you have younger kids, teaching them how to make their own snacks or quick meals will go a long while (the Montessori child!). I also taught both of my daughters at a young age how to do their own laundry. They also learned how to use the iron, vacuum, and clean their bathroom.
Tip: Make a little extra sometimes so that there are leftovers for the next day for those days that you do not want to make another meal. Start off teaching your child small, easy tasks that they can complete, then work up to bigger chores and tasks. Even little ones can help with dishes, sorting laundry, or helping to clean up around the house.
-Make it easy on yourself and ask for help
I decided to leave the big family style dinners to Sunday’s. The other days, it is something easier and quicker to make. It is still home made, just not as extravagant. Prepping ahead of time will save you time, energy, and stress! I have found that asking for help will also save me from wanting to pull my hair out. Remember, being a super mom is about delegating tasks to others when necessary!
Tip: If you don’t have a crock pot, get one asap! These are great for whole chickens, chili, or soups. I prepare the night before, then put it on when I leave for work in the morning. Dinner is ready and waiting when I get home. If my husband or kids gets home before me, I have them finish the meal if necessary. I also have a deal with my husband, I do laundry every week, and he washes my car every week…mom and wife score!
-Let them eat sandwiches…or whatever
Not every meal has to be hot or cooked! We have sandwiches often, especially in the Summer when it is 100+ degrees, or breakfast for dinner! My favorite is what I have deemed; “Whatever for Dinner Night”, and anything and everything is fair game, as long as I don’t have to cook it!
Tip: A few good ideas are deli sandwiches, peanut butter and jelly, tuna, hummus and veggies, or our personal favorite cereal. Who doesn’t LOVE cereal!?!?
-Just do what you can and breathe!
Don’t kill yourself trying to do everything! If things start to get or feel overwhelming, take a break and breathe! It is better to take a quick moment than to drive your self into a nervous breakdown over unfinished laundry or a messy house!
Tip: I think as moms, we tend to think that doing everything and having everything done all the time is what makes us feel accomplished and successful. Not the case, you are an amazing mom and are successful regardless if you get everything done or not. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
-They will love you, no matter what!
No matter if you put a meal in front of them that you spent hours prepping and cooking or if you give them something that only took you 30 minutes from beginning to end, they will still love you; no more, no less. If you don’t finish the laundry, it’s ok, do it tomorrow. Honestly, I highly doubt these things bother your family at all. We as moms just overthink some of these things, and bring undue stress on ourselves sometimes.
Tip: The love of your family is not based on the amount of time you put into a meal or if all the laundry gets done. They will love you regardless and unconditionally!!!
What to take from this
Even though my girls are now older, I have found that we are still just as busy as we were when they were in extracurricular activities. We are just busy in a different capacity.
We have a small, family run business that takes up much of our time, especially on the weekends being a vendor at various markets and events. We have long days and sometimes nights, so these tips are still second nature for us at our house.
Although I am not as busy anymore with being a full time extracurricular mom and working outside of the home, I am still trying to find the right balance of being a full time business owner, a full time mom, and a full time wife. You never stop being a full time mom, and I have found that it can still be challenging.
Whoever said that things get easier when your kids get older LIED, trust me!! I do know one thing, over the years I have learned a lot about the mom I was always trying to be and the mom that I actually am. I’ve found that I’m a pretty cool mom and that I can’t be the best at everything, but I as long as I try my best, that’s all that my family expects of me!
Now go and be Super Mom’s!
Anitra J.
This is a mantra that I have to keep reminding myself and you said it best, be a super mom — not supermom!
p.s. My family would likely starve without our crockpot!
Hi Tara! It’s so difficult to not be a supermom, but for my own sanity, I had to let that crazy expectation go! Yes, we love out crock pot too!????
Hunny, you are super mom year round! As am I! It’s not just the school year! Lol! Great job and I love the uplifting article!
Thanks Tiffany! I appreciate that! It is definitely a year round job of being super mom. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Love love love this!
Thanks Kimberly!
This totally spoke to me! I know I try to be SuperMom most of the time. These are great tips and much needed for my 3 kids who are just starting to ramp up extracurricular activities.
Thanks Lisa! I’m sure most of us have tried to be SuperMom, and I just wanted to let mom’s out there know that it’s ok not to be!
This is good stuff! My toddler loves doing chores – I guess I should let him!
Great post! I wish I had read this when I was a mom with kids at home. My 3 are off and “grown” now. The crock pot is a MUST! We ate a lot of fast food back in the day, ugh! I agree with your advice to have the kids take on chores such as doing their own laundry and other tasks at a young age. I did SO much for my kids and I did feel grumpy at times!! Thanks for sharing!
Julie//treeoflifeyogamontrose.com
Wow so great! Thank you so much. It can be really tiring and stressful as a mom
This was much needed and a very good read! With two little ones and a husband, I feel like I am constantly going 100 mph. It’s a great reminder that we need to just slow down.
Aww Anitra, what a great story and inspiration! So it doesn’t get easier when grow older???!!! I have 3 kids – 3, 5 and 8. Life is already crazy, I can’t imagine it getting even busier! Good point – I don’t always have to prepare them a hot meal every night. Why not sandwiches right?
These are really great tips. I was just talking to another mom friend about the amount of activities kids are in these days. I have a toddler, and we keep it pretty basic right now. I hope to live close to the school where they attend so we always have the option to walk, but I’m guessing sports will take them all over. Thanks for the pep talk to give my future self a break!
Life is what you make it! We try to be the best that we can for them and I think that’s what counts!
For my little girls first 18 months I feel I was non stop trying to be a super mum, I am now slowly starting to remember to take time for me and the things I loved before in the form of self care.
I feel this so much. My kids are 11 and 9 now and I have to remember that there are things they are keep capable of doing now, but man are we busy. Our son wants to play ALL the sports so we spend plenty of time at fields for games and practice.
Great tips. I love changing the word Supermom to a Super Mom! That’s much more attainable. Thanks for sharing
This is a such a great reminder that we are super and moms, and that not everything has to be perfect!
“Just do what you can” is the best advice. We can’t expect any more than what we can give.
YES! Thank you for affirming that super mom doesn’t have to cook everything from scratch! Especially with all the good, still healthy, predate options available… didn’t use to be that way, but we are so blessed to have them available now. We all need a little grace for ourselves.
This is so important to remember and be reminded of!
I needed this!