Here it is…Part 3 of the Montessori Tidbits Series!!

 

The next post in the part series…talking about manners.

 

Here is the next installment of the new 4 part series, Montessori Tidbits: Ideas & Practices for newbies to the Montessori Method.  Part 3 talks about a common Montessori practice; Grace & Courtesy.  Grace & Courtesy is a method of teaching children manners in a variety of ways and situations, and once implemented by the children, can lead to a peaceful & respectful environment.  If you’ve ever had the chance to be in a Montessori environment, met a Montessori child, or see Montessori children out in public, you may have noticed how well behaved, polite, courteous and self-disciplined they are.  That is the magic of Grace & Courtesy.

 

Grace & Courtesy

Grace & Courtesy is a staple in a Montessori environment.  It is as common as the 3 year age span, mixed aged groups.  It is taught as young as 3 years of age, and is continued and revisited at the beginning of each school year.  It is reintroduced at east once every year so that the teacher can demonstrate the expectations of each child.  The main goal of grace & courtesy is to teach children proper manners.  It provides them with ways to interact with other children and adults.  Teachers and parents alike can easily introduce and teach grace & courtesy to a small or large group.  The key is to provide instances where children can role play various social situations.  Disrespect and rude behavior is rarely seen in a Montessori environment, as Grace & Courtesy is practiced and implemented on a regular basis.

 

 

 

 

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Objectives of implementing Grace & Courtesy

With proper implementation, Grace & Courtesy lessons can provide children with the tools to become kind, understanding, respectful individuals in our society. Here are a few ways Grace & Courtesy can be a positive addition to any home or classroom setting or environment.

 

Children learn how to respect others & the environment

With Grace & Courtesy lessons, adults can teach children the importance of respecting others belongings, their own belongings, and their environment; whether that be their home, bedroom, classroom or other places they visit.

 

Teacher/Adult: “Today we are going to talk about taking care of our things and the things of others.”  When we use any of the materials, it is important to use gentle hands and be gentle using them.”

Teacher/Adult:  “Would you like it if I came to your house and took your toys and threw them on the floor?  Or if I broke your toys while playing with them?”

The children will all answer no, and you can conclude this lesson by explaining to them the importance of respecting the environment and the things within it.

 

 

Children develop skills that are used in many social situations

Lessons in Grace & Courtesy can give children the necessary skills needed in various social situations.  Social situations with their peers, other adults, teachers, and any other people they will encounter.  Knowing how to react and respond in social situations is a very important skill to develop early on.

 

 

 

Children are taught the importance of patience & understanding

Children learn how to be patient and wait for things.  Grace & Courtesy lessons teach them that it is fine to have to wait for things, wait their turn for things, and to be understanding when situations don’t always go as they had plan.  Things happen and it is our job as adults and role models to teach children to be understanding & accepting of things.

For example, it is customary in a Montessori environment for children to have snack at a designated “snack table”.  The snack table is normally accommodating to two children at a time, so other children in the classroom must wait until an available spot at the snack table becomes available.

 

 

Grace & Courtesy Sample Lessons

These sample lessons are not an all inclusive list of Grace & Courtesy lessons that can be introduced to children.  This list is of a few lessons that I have used in my classroom and find that they are the best at teaching children manners.

A suggestion on how to introduce Grace & Courtesy lessons are listed.  Each sample lesson is easy to use and laid our in a way that any teacher or parent can introduce the lessons to one or a group of children.  Each sample lesson can be used in a role play situation in which children can witness the real life experiences of each Grace & Courtesy lesson.

 

Sample 1: Waiting their turn to do a work or activity

Waiting for your turn is a way of life.  There are times when children must wait for an activity or work. In a one on one or group setting, explain to the children that sometimes you may have to wait for a certain activity or work. Explain to them to choose another activity or work while they wait.

Teacher/Adult: “Sometimes a work or activity that you would to do is not available.  Please be patient, and while you wait, choose another work or activity until the work you would like becomes available.”

 

Sample 2: Asking other children to join them in their activity

It is customary in a Montessori environment that children are not made to share.  If they choose a work or activity, it is their choice to work independently or with a partner.  In a one or one or group setting, inform the child(ren) that they must ask another child if it is ok if they can work with them.

Teacher/Adult: “If a friend has chosen a work, please remember that you must ask them first before you can work on an activity with them. If they say no, you must respect their words and find another work or activity,”

 

Sample 3: Interrupting an adult when they are having a conversation (The waiting Hand)

If an adult is having a conversation, children are shown how to wait patiently until the conversation ends.  This can be demonstrated in a one on one situation or in a group setting.

Teacher/Adult: “If I am talking to someone, without saying anything, please put your hand on my leg or arm.  I will place my hand over your hand so you know I will talk with you as soon as I am finished talking.  Please remember to wait patiently.”

 

Sample 4: Respecting the personal space of other people 

Children should learn to respect the personal space and boundaries of others.  This can be done one on one or in a group setting.  It works particularly good in a group setting.

Teacher/Adult: “Let’s pretend that everyone has a pretend invisible bubble around them.  Try not to get too close to other peoples’ bubbles, because you may pop their bubble and invade their personal space.”

 

 

Effects of using Grace & Courtesy

These are Grace & Courtesy sample lessons and ideas that I have tried and tested. My hope is that they are of help to parents and other teachers.  When taught and implemented, these lessons will (hopefully) lead to well mannered children who are polite, courteous and patient.  These lessons should be revisited on a regular basis and the children should be reminded as needed, of these lessons.

 

 

Missed reading Part 1, Part 2 or Part 4 of the series? Click here for

Part 1: 10 Ideas to Achieve a Peaceful Home or Classroom Setting

Part 2: Positive Discipline The Montessori Way.

Part 4: The Montessori approach as to why children shouldn’t be forced to share

Part 5: 8 must haves for an awe-inspiring Montessori playroom

BONUS…

Grace & Courtesy Book Resources:

 

Montessori at Home or School: How to Teach Grace & Courtesy

 

Grace & Courtesy

 

Spring Tea: a celebration of grace and courtesy for children three to six

 

 

Have questions or thoughts on Grace & Courtesy in a Montessori environment? Feel free to reach out to me!

 

Anitra J.