Do you know your child’s love language?

 

Find out more about each of the five love languages, and how to use them to connect with your child!

 

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Talk of the 5 Love Languages

I’m sure that you have heard about the popular topic of the 5 love languages, and just like you, your child has a distinct love language.  According to best selling author of the series, Gary Chapman, each person has a primary love language.  Using this theory, discovering your child’s love language may make it easier for you to understand and connect with your child on a deeper level.

 

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What are the 5 love languages?

The 5 Love Languages are Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touch, Quality Time, and Words of Affirmation. I go into further detail on each love language, along with ways to fulfill the love language of your child.

 

1. Acts of Service

Showing love to your child by doing loving things

Think about how your child reacts to you helping them or showing them something. This particular love language may be harder to detect with children, since parents are already performing many acts for their child. But take notice if your child shows extra interest or admiration for you doing things for and with them.

 

Your child may speak this love language if:

• They ask for help to learn a new skill
• They look for your guidance in working on a project for school

Ways to fulfill this love language:

• Play with them. Help them build legos, color with them, play dolls with them.
• Make them them their favorite breakfast.
• Teach your child about helping others through volunteering.
• Help to fix their toys when they break them.
• Start a “birthday dinner” tradition where you make their favorite meal.

 

2. Gifts

Giving gifts to your child that lets them feel extra special and loved

Gift giving just because, outside of birthdays and holidays, can make children feel extra special. If this is your child’s love language, receiving gifts can make them feel that this gesture makes them extra special in the givers’ eyes.

 

Your child may speak this love language if:

• They look for rewards over hugs
• They hope to be recognized with presents over attention

Ways to fulfill this love language:

• Get them a favorite toy they have been wanting.
• When away from home, mail a small package to your child.
• Make a special treat for them.
• Give them personalized gifts that have their name on them.
• Place a small token of love in your child’s lunchbox.

 

 

3. Physical Touch

Physically showing love and care to your child

Most children enjoy receiving physical love from their parents. If this is your child’s love language, they may ask and need frequent forms of physical touch to make them feel comfort and ease from the physical touch of their loved ones.

 

Your child may speak this love language if:

• They ask for hugs or kisses frequently
• When they are sad, they would rather be held than speak about their issues

Ways to fulfill this love language:

• Cuddle up on the sofa together and watch a movie or read.
• Hug and kiss your child every day and night.
• Stroke your child’s hair or rub their back when they are upset.
• Create a special signal that you and your child can share, like a handshake or a finger hug.
• Read to your child with them on your lap.

 

4. Quality Time

Spending time with your child to show how much you care and love them

A child whose love language is quality time is simply looking for your undivided attention. Time that is solely focused on spending time with them one on one.

 

Your child may speak this love language if:

• They ask for more solo stories at bedtime
• They make attempts to seek out your attention

Ways to fulfill this love language:

• Make bedtime extra special with stories and a routine.
• Spend time helping your children with a project they are working on.
• Schedule a “date” with each of your children individually and make it a priority.
• Create family time where you play games or do outdoor activities together
• Take your child out for a treat after school.

 

 

5. Words of Affirmations

Telling your child often how much you love and care about them

Hearing simple, loving phrases from their parents makes them happy. If this is your child’s love language, then they appreciate and respond well to hearing you compliment, praise and speak highly of them.

 

Your child may speak this love language if:

• They ask for reassurance that they are loved
• They seek compliments on their physical appearance

Ways to fulfill this love language:

• Put a note in their lunchbox. A simple heart on a sticky note goes a long way.
• Tell them how much you love them everyday.
• Tell them how proud you are of them often.
• Tell them some of the things you love about them.
• Praise them often.

 

 

What to take from this

Just like anything that relates to your child, the most important thing to take from this is that every child is different. Every child receives and displays love in their own unique ways, as most do.  Remember that this is not an all end to how your child receives and displays love; children just like adults can have multiple love languages.  Just use this as a guide as to find the best ways to connect with your child!

 

Other parenting articles you may find interesting and helpful:

15 Montessori parenting books parents of young children should read

Valuable conscious positive parenting resources to help you tame your child’s tantrums

5 basic Montessori principles that can compliment your parenting style

How to effectively use positive discipline to raise well nurtured children

Time in-the positive alternative to time out

 

 

So do you know what your child’s love language is? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

 

Until next time!

Anitra J.